Sexual Intercourse in a Marriage Relationship is an Obligation and Not a Weapon

Sex for married people is an obligation not only for the purposes of procreation or erotic enjoyment but also for uniting the partners spiritually. Sex is the most powerful element in marriage because of what it connotes. It makes marriage sacred and is a builder of love and intimacy – such love and intimacy that is only reserved for married couples. The sacredness of sexual intercourse makes it an abomination for the unmarried to go into it.

A marriage partner that does not understand the importance of sex in marriage will toy with it and expose his or her marriage to dangers. In my position as a pastor, I have observed lot of problems in marriage as a result of a partner neglecting or denying the other partner this marital obligation. This problem occurs from two reasons.

The first but inadvertent reason is the pre-marriage life one lived. Those who married as virgins, especially born-again Christians, take some time to adjust to marital sex life. Some of them continue to live with the notion that sex is sinful. They find it difficult to yield themselves to their husbands or wives. Initially, the man or woman may show some understanding but will become irritated if it continues will ultimately lead to problems in the marriage.

The second cause, which is of more interest to us in this article, is deliberate and punitive. In that circumstance, sex becomes a weapon – a weapon of retaliation, intimidation and coercion. There will be no sex except something is promised in exchange. That is one sacrificing his or her marriage on the altar of narrow interest. By the time your partner starts looking elsewhere to satisfy that emotional urge, you will have yourself to blame.

Sex is a duty every spouse owes his or her partner. There is no excuse for it. Any reason for not obliging it should be discussed and accepted by two of you. A married man is no longer the sole owner of his body. The same thing applies to a married woman. In all truth, your wife or husband owns your body more than you. So you should oblige any time he or she wants your body. By surrendering any time your partner needs you, you are protecting your marriage.